Introns: A Fable

At one point in early 2011, a brand new island is discovered off the coast of Scotland, quite by accident. It is called Lumberia. The Royal Geography Bureau sends out a team in a boat. The team consists of an ethologist and a preacher. As they row out to the island, each of them surveys the island's inhabitants through a pair of powerful binoculars.

"The Lumberians are powerfully built, wearing flannel shirts, carrying hatchets, and living in robust wooden houses," says the preacher. "They all look very much alike."

"I agree," says the ethologist. "They look quite like Scotsmen. I think they are descended from Scotsmen."

"Nonsense!" says the preacher. "Scotsmen come in all shapes and sizes. The Lumberians look very similar to each other. They were clearly created by God to make lumber on the island. See how they are perfectly suited to logging, protecting themselves against the cold with their sensible flannel clothing. Obviously that didn't come about by chance! They are so similar to each other because, when God created the first Lumberian, He got it right, and decided not to fix what wasn't broken."

"I'm not saying the Lumberians are descended from all Scotsmen equally," says the ethologist. "Their geographic isolation would restrict their genetic diversity. They are merely descended from a few ... perhaps a single clan. I can't say for sure -"

"Ha!" shouts the preacher. "You admit you don't know!"

"True," says the ethologist. "But I may later. Right now I think that they may be descended from the McCheznicks of a wooded village on the Scottish coast near here. They look like McCheznicks, wear the same clothing, and excel at the traditional McCheznick trade of cutting timber. When the clan landed on the island, they thrived here for the same reasons they thrived in their similar home environment."

The preacher shakes his head. "You deny all the beauty of God's work with your preposterous theory of someone teleporting from the mainland to this island!"

"Actually, I think they used a boat, or several," says the ethologist, pulling at the oars.

"Ah ha! You just assumed a boat."

"Until we reach the island, this will all be necessarily hypothetical. There may have been a few strong swimmers, or a land bridge that has sunken out of sight. But assuming a boat is less a leap of faith than assuming a god."

At this point, each of them asserts his vehement belief that the burden of proof lies with the other. Each of them makes a few references to Okham's Razor. The argument continues until they reach the island.

After making landfall and greeting the inhabitants, each of the visitors sticks with his Theory of Lumberian Origins, despite the revelation that all the inhabitants of the island are named McCheznick.